Vertigo

I have been dealing with this dis-ease for a few days now and have been trying to figure out what it meant. In the grander scheme of things, what does it mean to be grasping for balance? To be dizzy and unstable? To be constantly in motion, even when you're not? What did it mean, right now, that I was spiraling?

Have you ever wondered why it is you're attracted to certain things? Creatively speaking. Why do I have an affinity for black and white photography? Why does the ocean never cease to amaze me? Why do I find red lips and messy hair to be the sexiest thing on earth? My mind is as unable to focus as my eyes...

This dizzying this blur its figurative and literal. I can't grasp an idea or a topic. Everything comes and then it goes right through my fingertips. I can only see when I close my eyes. My dreams are clear and focused where my life is abstract and...temporary. It keeps going. Moving. Slipping. Spinning.

When it stops will my eyes adjust or will I long for the whirling winds of vertigo again?