I am not who I used to be. I feel so strong, and present and centered and most of all, I feel like love. I forgive myself for everything I did to survive the rough waters. I love myself for never giving up. I trust myself. I care for myself and I know I’m going to move forward in life with the intention of prioritizing my souls peace.
If it took me losing everything to learn what was most important, then it was well worth the journey. I’ve gotten over the “okay God, I’m ready for the come up” rush. I’m learning to enjoy where I am. In this moment, of survival but promise and of limited means but limitless faith.
When I couldn’t pay my bills, I felt like less of a human. Less of a woman. Less of a capable and able bodied adult. when I’m actuality, I was just broke. That’s it. My income or lack thereof should not, and will never again, dictate who I KNOW myself to be. Still, our society says “you’ve made it” when you can claim a six figure salary, have a beautiful craftsman style single family home, drive a nice German car and take family vacations to the happiest place on earth. I had to dissociate myself from that narrative and create my own.