After the fact: delayed gratification
I was sifting through my twitter account looking at how much junk ends up on my feed. So, I started to delete some people and follow others. I started with Wayne Dyer, poaching his followers then Marianne Williamson, then Louise Hay...and as I read the bios of the handful of people they follow it started to get repetitive. New York Times Bestselling Author! Spiritual Healer! Psychic! Etc. I found it a bit obnoxious then asked myself, why shouldn't they be proud of their accomplishments? It was then that I realized I'd gotten past the "You're not ____________ enough" part of shame and was now in the "who do you think you are?!" loop. Yuck! So I thought back to a desire I have sometimes, to be one of these great spiritual leaders. I was literally considering that perhaps there is a new generation of healers, gurus, mystics, that are blossoming right now, and maybe I am one of them. Then I thought, but I want to know the now generation! Then it dawned on me that (omg) I met the Dalai Lama!
I shook hands, was blessed by, have a picture with THE Dalai Lama! Of course, if any of you recall that actual day I met him, I felt so numb to it because I was worried about all the wrong things. Now, however, I look back and am like wait...this happened for a reason. This picture was captured for a reason. The only photo that was taken of him with the 6 students in the entire university and I was the sole graduate student...it has a purpose. I allowed myself to consider it as foreshadowing and total joy washed over me.
Taking also into account my meeting with Jack Canfield (the New York Times Bestselling Author of the Chicken soup series) I laughed as I wrote that. But I met him at age 8 or 9 and he said to me, See you famous! I have to believe that its no coincidence I've met these great influences in positivity and well-being. Oprah is coming.
I feel, sometimes, that my Self is the most patient being on earth as she often has to wait for me to "get it". I worked for 3 years diligently on knowing that I am enough. I plan to get the "who do you think you are" much more quickly. I'll borrow the words from Marianne as I often do," We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "
Now that is something.