Yesterday in class we were asked to bring a piece of prose, we were not given any further instructions so we all showed up anxious to share and hear from others. The first person to go read the poem Fire and Ice which was fine but what she was asked to do next was remarkable...our professor asked her to sing her anger. Now, this is a class of 90 people and you're standing up front stadium style with everyone glaring down at you. Then the professor asks you to sing, but not using words, using vowel sounds. She kept pushing and the student, reluctant ashamed and afraid bowed out of the challenge. The next student, however, sang "love" and I couldn't help but to cry. It wasn't a song I knew but it came from such a...divine place. When she finished and our professor called for another student I locked eyes with a TA who smiled at me and I laughed, "Nope. No freaking way!" I could not imagine myself doing such a thing. As much as I enjoyed the bravery of others I could.not.imagine doing it myself.
Then...it struck a nerve.
Well now I have to do it. Even if its not in class, even if its just with myself...I need to hear my song and more importantly, I need to sing it. Through indiscriminate sounds I can express all the things inside me that have no words, paint the things that have no color (odd...the prose I chose was Shel Silverstein's poem 'colors' and the last line reads: and all the colors I am inside haven't been invented yet.).
The thought just crossed my mind that this work...this way that I am, my him...he will love and appreciate it. More though, he will know this work. I'm starting to believe more in the power of the things I see here *taps head*. Yesterday for example, I took my usb cord from work...I usually leave it there for charging but I told myself to take it. 3 hours later when the internet went down and I needed to save my work, the only way I could was to save it to my phones memory card...via usb cord. And that was only one instance. I thanked God for something yet to pass in June. Yesterday fruits were spotted. That's faith.
Life is growing more and more curious.